more time
by minachandler
Summary: "I was so lucky, Laurel, and I messed it up. I'm so sorry. I thought I'd have more time." In Starling General Hospital, Oliver and Laurel talk about who they used to be. 4x18 fix-it fic.


(OLIVER presses his lips together and closes his eyes as he waits for FELICITY, DIGGLE and THEA to leave before bestowing a tired smile on LAUREL.)

 **LAUREL:** You should probably get some rest too.

 **OLIVER:** No chance. I'm gonna stay right here.

(Silence. It's a warm kind of quietness, of weathered and worn intimacy that - no matter how fragmented - still lingers, always and forever, between the two of them.)

 **LAUREL:** There's something in my left pouch. Will you bring it to me?

 **OLIVER** (going to the chair where her suit is): Yeah. May I?

 **LAUREL:** Yeah.

 **OLIVER** (voice shaking slightly as he takes out the worn photograph of LAUREL - frayed at the edges and brown with age - that she had given him all those years ago): You kept this?

 **LAUREL** (smiles a little): I'm still surprised you did, to be honest.

(OLIVER tightens his grip on the photo a little, holds it to his chest, before handing it to LAUREL.)

 **OLIVER:** Why were you surprised?

 **LAUREL:** Because… before you got on the Gambit with Sara - I thought you and me were it. That you were my soulmate, the love of my life.

 **OLIVER** (shaking his head and sighing): That kind of thing has to be earned, Laurel. And I never did with you. At least - not then. But - for what it's worth? You were still the love of my life.

 **LAUREL** (smiling slightly): Just not the only one, right?

 **OLIVER:** Laurel -

LAUREL: Ollie, it's okay. There's no rulebook saying you can only love one person in your life. I know. You had Sara and then Felicity. And I - had Tommy. And…

(She trails off.)

 **OLIVER:** So, what, does that make Nyssa your soulmate?

 **LAUREL** (nonplussed): How did you…

 **OLIVER:** I once told you that you knew me better than anyone. You should know by now that that goes both ways. Besides - I know that look.

 **LAUREL:** What look?

 **OLIVER:** The one I saw in the mirror every time I tried to push someone away for their own good.

 **LAUREL** (scoffs quietly): Maybe you're rubbing off on me or something.

 **OLIVER:** Or something.

 **LAUREL** : I wish she were here now. Nyssa. She was good for me.

 **OLIVER** (nodding): You were good for each other. I'm really glad you found her. And for what it's worth… I hope you find your way back to her somehow.

(LAUREL reaches out with her free hand and squeezes OLIVER's. He smiles, squeezes back.)

 **LAUREL:** Thank you. (She pauses and holds up the photo of her from all those years ago.) Speaking of… you remember when you gave this to me?

 **OLIVER:** Yeah. Just before…

(His voice shakes and his words seem to get stuck in his throat.)

 **LAUREL** (also unable to say Tommy's name): Before the Undertaking.

 **OLIVER:** I told you that something kept pulling me away from you.

 **LAUREL:** But that that something might finally be over. You… were thinking about abandoning the hood, weren't you?

 **OLIVER:** I was. Thing is, when you put on a mask, it's - hard to take off. Especially when your mission is never really over.

 **LAUREL** (chuckling): I figured out that much tonight, Ollie. Anyway, I was just going through my old things in my apartment. Thinking. Trying to figure out if I could let go of this - part of myself. And then I found this. It was - a reminder. Of who I used to be. Who we used to be.

 **OLIVER:** When things were simpler.

 **LAUREL:** For us?

 **OLIVER** (looking away in shame): For me. I was so lucky, Laurel, and I messed it up. I'm sp sorry. I thought I'd have more time. To make it right to you.

 **LAUREL:** It's okay. I forgave you a long time ago. But I - wanted to give this back to you.

(OLIVER sits down carefully on the bed, fumbling with the pouch still in his lap. A crumpled piece of paper falls out, not as old as the photo but still a few years old at least, judging by the way the edges curl in slightly as he opens it up.)

 **OLIVER** (squinting to read the faded print and then his eyes widen): What's this?

(It's a old plane ticket, by the looks of it, and from what he can tell it's to Hong Kong.)

 **LAUREL:** I don't know if Tommy ever told you. But a couple of years after you went missing - someone logged into your old email account in Hong Kong. And Tommy - he took his dad's private jet and flew there, straightaway. He never stopped looking for you, Ollie.

 **OLIVER** (chuckling as he hands the ticket back to LAUREL): Even then he was my hero.

(His words elicit a smile from LAUREL, one full of nostalgia and warmth and - yes - love.)

 **LAUREL** (fondly): Mine too. But - it turned out to be a hoax.

 **OLIVER:** I bet Malcolm's reaction to his son being kidnapped was 'I told you so'.

 **LAUREL** (slowly): I never said anything about Tommy being kidnapped.

 **OLIVER** (heavily): I know. I - was the kidnapper.

(LAUREL looks alarmed and for a moment she can only splutter, trying to find words, which she only manages to do after a few moments.)

 **LAUREL:** ...how?

 **OLIVER:** It's complicated. But the short answer is… I wasn't always on the island. And one of the places I was taken to is Hong Kong. I was working for - you remember Amanda Waller?

 **LAUREL:** Yeah. The director of Argus.

 **OLIVER:** She… enlisted me. To work for her. And when I tried to get away, email my mom, I set off some account alert.

 **LAUREL:** So it wasn't a hoax.

 **OLIVER** (shaking his head): I was there. And when Waller caught wind that Tommy was in Hong Kong looking for me I - was ordered to kill him. But I couldn't do that. I wouldn't. Not even Lian Yu could make me so cold that I would kill my best friend.

 **LAUREL** (suddenly fighting tears): He never lost faith in you, Ollie. Not even after that. But that's when - that's when we first…

(LAUREL trails off, looking away, because there's still a lot of pain and hurt and loss and it hangs tangibly between the pair of them.)

 **OLIVER** (softly): I didn't know.

 **LAUREL:** He came to me. I'd never seen him so upset and - helpless before. And, I don't know, at the time, I just thought I needed someone - that we both did. But, uh, to be honest, I just didn't want to admit even to myself that I was falling in love with him. And he left the ticket at my place the morning after and I - don't know why I kept it. Maybe it was a reminder, for me.

 **OLIVER** : When things were less complicated, you mean?

 **LAUREL** (laughs): My boyfriend - ex, whatever - and sister were missing and presumed dead, my parents were getting divorced, I was convinced I would be kicked out of law school and then I slept with my ex's best friend who also happened to be my best friend… that's like the dictionary definition of 'complicated', Ollie.

 **OLIVER** (with a rueful smile edged with just a bit of guilt): Still, I'm glad you had each other. He deserved you more than I ever did. And I'm just glad we didn't lose you, Canary. I don't know what we would have done - what I would have done - if something happened to you.

 **LAUREL:** I mean - I knew what I signed up for. Fighting assassins and getting shot at and chasing people was kind of in the vigilante job description. And, Ollie, in this life, a good end would be a privilege. But this wouldn't have been a good end.

 **OLIVER:** I get that. If I were you… I'd want to die how I lived. As a hero.

 **LAUREL** (nodding in agreement): As opposed to being killed to make a point to someone. Like - if I could choose how I died, it would be because I - took a bullet for someone, or, I don't know, in battle. Protecting someone I love. Protecting the city. It's my story, you know? So I feel like I should be the one to decide how it ends.

 **OLIVER (softly):** Makes sense. When I went to fight Ra's on that mountain… I was okay with dying. Just because - I knew it wasn't for nothing. It was for Thea. And I would do anything to save her.

 **LAUREL:** So would I.

 **OLIVER:** I know you would. And whatever has happened, Laurel - I'll always love you for it.

 **LAUREL** (smiles but regards him questioningly): Why are you telling me this? Why now?

 **OLIVER:** Because tonight was just a reminder that - anything can happen. And I know I haven't lost you, but I came so close to it tonight, and I know it would have killed me if I didn't try to - you know, make amends. For everything I've done.

 **LAUREL:** That's water under the bridge, Ollie. And whatever happens - I still need you in my life. Always will.

 **OLIVER** (stooping down a little to press a kiss on her forehead and hug her): We've gone through too much together for it to be any other way. Which is why - I need you to promise me something.

(LAUREL sits up as OLIVER settles more comfortably on the bed, looking attentively at him. He picks up the photograph and turns it between his fingers as he speaks, and LAUREL's eyes widen and fill slowly with alarm as she listens to what he has to say.)


End file.
